Back in the Blocks
And most of all, it was about the process of running towards what I hope I’ll be chasing for the rest of my life.
I’ve been scared to do another marathon since the first one shattered me.
Those who were there that March 2019 day will tell you that I was sick and shouldn’t have run at all. I ran anyway. Call it stupid or courageous, but I was so focused on what I was trying to do that I hadn’t even considered sitting out as an option. I was yellow and had a fever when I crossed the 26.2-mile finish line. When I stopped, I couldn’t even step up the sidewalk curb to thank the loved ones who had come to watch me. I wish I was exaggerating.
Needless to say, the marathon left a bitter taste in my mouth. While I knew that I had done the best that I could given the circumstances, I couldn’t help but associate the entire disaster with running itself. I needed a break from running, and I took one for several weeks. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever run a marathon again.
But as always, things change. Slowly but surely, I began running here and there. Thanks to Outdoor Audio on the Peloton app and inspiration from active friends, I started to actually enjoy running again.
Excited, I kept taking one step at a time.
Three years later, it’s now 2022 and I’m stepping back into the blocks: I’ve signed up for my second marathon.
While part of me wishes it hadn’t taken me so long to commit to another marathon, most of me knows that I needed this time.
Time to let go of the race outcome I had expected and failed to achieve.
Time to accept what had happened because I had done the best that I could.
Time to fall in love with running all over again.
And time to remember why I run in the first place:
I run because physically moving forward on a trail helps me mentally move forward in life.
I run because after 3 ACL tears, I am beyond grateful for what my body can do and I want to make the most of it.
I run because it calls me to focus on the present and allows me to get lost in the act of doing.
I run because running continues to teach me more about myself everyday.
So yes, I’ve signed up for my second marathon and yes, I have ambitions to run it faster than my first. But even if I don’t, I’ll remind myself this: at the end of the day, it was never about the goal time. It was never about the medal. It was never even about the marathon.
It was about stepping back into the blocks. It was about facing my fears. And most of all, it was about the process of running towards what I hope I’ll be chasing for the rest of my life: a better version of myself.
On your mark. Get set. GO!
Ready to get back in the blocks? Let’s chat!
